Most women out there are continuously searching for the one. After years of failed dating and relationships they wonder why they are still not married and yet others they have known for quite some time have somehow managed to get married. What exactly is the secret and why do some girls manage to play it right and get the man while others struggle?
I knew a man who always told me he never wanted to get married only for me to discover a month ago that he was engaged and due to be getting married, sounds like a classic line out of a movie but it got me thinking, how exactly did she manage to get him to commit to her? Lucky for me he is a good friend of mine so I know him well enough to get some first hand insight into his brain. Of course everyone is different and I am sure the inner workings of his complex brain don’t represent the inner workings of every brain out there.
1. She made sense in his life
In all honesty, it didn’t sound like he was madly in love, if I had to guess I would say he was more in love with one of his exes who was keen to marry him when he did not want to get married. The girl he proposed to seemed to do the job in being a wife, she would look after him as he wanted, give him space and fill the role of a wife. It sounded like a decision made not on feelings, but on logic.
2. She came at the right time
For a man who never wanted to marry, age really was just a number to him and in no way did I ever think it would bother him that he is approaching his 40s yet what made him take the next step was exactly that, age and where he was in his life. As a man ages so do his siblings, his parents and before long it can feel like he would die alone and after having achieved everything marriage is the natural step. Even though what he has with her isn’t the same type of love he would have had with his girlfriend in his 20s, this girl was there at the right time.
For those thinking of course he would at 40, that is pretty old, let me warn you anyone who is adamant on not marrying will probably delay as long as he can. So if you are with someone late 20s or early 30s and wanting a commitment then be prepared to wait.
3. She doesn’t text him every day
Ok, I find this one a little bit strange. He actually liked the fact that she doesn’t message him every day. I don’t know about you but if I am genuinely interested in a man he would be on my mind a lot and I would message him every day because I want to. Yet, he seemed to like the fact that she just left him alone whenever he wanted. Then again, men do enjoy doing the chasing, if a woman is too eager it scares them away so maybe the fact that she doesn’t message every day is a positive for him when it really shouldn’t be.
4. She agreed to keep their assets separate
This is clearly a rich person problem but divorce can always get messy and for him a relationship which makes it easy to walk away is the best of all worlds. So the fact that she agreed to keep his assets separate is a positive for him.
Reality is after marriage when children come along, the assets are probably the least important component of his life. I know him well enough to know he is a gentleman and would see it as his duty to look after her. So the chances are she may have agreed to keep the assets separate but she will most certainly make the most of enjoying his assets while she is married to him. So a smart move on her part and a foolish one on his part if that has been the true reason for him not marrying until he met her.
5. She doesn’t challenge him
For someone who is a smart guy, I would have thought he would have been better suited to a girl who was driven and ambitious and challenged him but interestingly he would definitely want that from a woman he wants to date but not marry. The fact that this girl has no opinions on politics, has limited knowledge of economics and is just happy to go along with anything he wants is what in his head makes her more suitable.
This is a very interesting insight into a man’s brain and I am pleased he was honest enough to share this with me. However I do wonder if it will last if this is truly one of the reasons why he proposed.
If marriage is the objective and not love then this is certainly an eye opener. Although it doesn’t fill me with enthusiasm, I can understand why marriage and love can sometimes be treated as two separate things. Ultimately what is important is happiness and if he is going to be happy with a woman who doesn’t challenge him, who makes sense, is there at the right time and doesn’t want to message him every day then I wish him and her the very best with their marriage.
However, I do hope for everyone else you find both love and happiness and a man who marries you because he wants to be with you and not because you simply make sense.