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Dating Diaries: Is it really possible to get a man to buy you gifts with nothing in return?

For those who read our articles, there was one not so long ago on whether you would continue to watch romantic comedies after marriage and one response which stood out was “the comedy in romantic comedies should give it away, life is not a comedy”.

While this may well be true, sometimes I think maybe dating is a comedy in itself. Some of the things that people go through in search of finding the right person are literally like a movie script.

While my whole search for the right man has been like a movie, one experience feels almost unbelievable. I would like to think I am perceptive and can see another angle, but in this case I am completely lost!

I have included snippets of our conversation as it is so beyond the realms of reality anyone would think it didn't happen, but it did and I have proof! Of course I have protected his identity and deleted sensitive details.


The one who constantly wanted to buy me gifts


One experience I had was meeting a boy a while ago who constantly wanted to buy me gifts, now I am sure all you girls (and boys) are thinking, lucky you – who doesn’t want to be showered with gifts. I guess most people do unless it comes with some strange, weird expectations which I am not sure I have figured out even until this day.

When we met, he seemed nice but it didn't feel right

When I first met him, he seemed like a perfectly nice gentleman, we were getting to know each other as you would. We met once or twice in person and spoke via text but something was amiss. So I gradually reduced contact and he picked up on it not working, and we parted ways politely saying goodbye. This happened in March.

He asked a bizarre question

He then asked me a bizarre question which was very similar to another conversation I had with another man. He asked if he could ask me a question, to which I had said, sure. I couldn’t after all stop him asking me questions, perhaps he was curious to learn why I felt it wouldn’t work, instead he asked if he could buy me gifts.

I wasn’t really looking for someone to just give me gifts so I told him, it's not really what I am looking for and blocked his number but I did flag my suspicion that he was linked to the other man.

Another man had asked a similar question

Now, strangely, one month earlier, in February, I had another bizarre conversation around gift buying by someone who liked the idea of mental power and control. I had never met this man previously but the method of communication and the way the sentences were constructed were very similar.

Him: "Random I know but I like being weak and submissive mentally to a hot lady like you. Can I say how? I don't want anything in return or to meet. Can I just explain please?"

I said ok, as I was curious to know where he was going with this.

Him: "Random but I'd love to be your slave, buy you nice gifts and pay for your nights out. Before you say no, Let me explain what I mean and how it would work"

Sounded extremely creepy and not to my liking.

We had engaged in a conversation out of curiosity mainly. I was curious to learn how he could afford all this and why he would propose this offer which was too good to be true, no contact, no meeting, just unlimited gifts in life.

Me: "How do you afford it?"
Him: "I work as an Accountant hence I save up."
Me: "To spend on something that is of no value to you?"
Him: "It isn't to me, but it would be to you, that's the point. Spoiling you and buying you gifts"

Interesting man, a little creepy and not worth the time. So I blocked him when he refused to take no for an answer.

4 months later, I receive a message from an unknown number and it was him

4 months later I received a message from an unknown number, I asked who it was and it turned out that it was the same boy I was previously speaking to, the one I had met in person. He never confirmed the link but I am pretty certain they were the same people.

He asked if he could just speak to me. I politely told him I don’t think it would work. He stated that he had been thinking and that he was ready to commit to someone, I flagged to him that wasn’t the issue back then and commitment hadn’t been discussed, the reason for ending it was his desire to want to buy women gifts.

He said the gift buying was a joke and I am the only woman he has ever wanted to buy gifts for

As expected he said it was a joke, I was the only woman he had wanted to buy gifts for. Of course I wasn’t buying into this explanations but I did want to know where he was going with all this and what exactly was he expecting in return? Having met him in person he seemed like a nice enough guy, he never tried to take advantage or force himself on me. Was he testing me to see if I can be bought over by gifts? We had established already that it wouldn’t work with or without gifts, but I allowed this bizarre conversation to unfold.

The conversation took a strange turn and he went as far as placing orders which I asked him to cancel

He sent me a picture asking if the bag was to my taste and showed me an order number.

“Just to prove I’m serious [corrected typo] about buying you gifts. Collect near [place omitted]”. Do you like it?”

He then showed me another gift he wanted to buy me, this time a Boss watch and again showed me the order numbers as evidence. I didn’t analyse the order numbers in great detail so not sure if they were real orders but asked him to cancel the orders and also iterated that they were not to my liking.

“Please can you cancel your orders”

He then set out his plan, £300 to start and then minimum of £700 per month

He then pursued with wanting to buy me gifts and this time he set out how often he would buy me gifts and how much he would spend before I decide whether to say no.

First he would send me £200 to “start spoiling you” he said. Then a minimum of £700 on gifts and cash.

He then spent some more time researching and showing me more gifts, this time more high end asking if they were to my taste, again I told him they were not for me. I offered to give him someone else’s number who may be more interested and he insisted it was for me only.

He refused to listen so again I had to block him.

He has since used several different numbers to contact me at various points, he even increased the amount he was going to spend on me to start to £500 to start with.

I still get random messages from various different numbers asking the same question.

What is going through his mind?

Honestly, I have no idea. I feel like this is some bizarre conversation you would have in a movie. Clearly he has done this to many other girls and is a professional at this. Not sure how many have fallen for it.

If he was asking me to go directly to the locations the parcels were delivered then was he expecting to lurk in the shadows and try to attack me when I was not looking but then he wouldn't know when I go to pick it up and it would be unlikely he would be at those locations all day. He never made an attempt at this on the two occasions when we had seen each other.

In discussing it with one of my male friends it was recommended that maybe I should give his number and he will go to collect it for me. Of course he would be safer than me.

Strange things happen in the world is all I can say. I hope no girl has actually fallen for this and if she did, I would be keen to hear what happened. Did he go through and purchase gifts with nothing in return?

#love, #relationships, #gifts, #romance, #loveishardtofind

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