Falling in love and coming into a relationship is one of the most beautiful moment, but if it stays just as a moment or it continues lifelong depends on various factors and situations. Sometimes it is under our control and sometimes it just keeps slipping out of our hand, and we are unable to fix it.
It is pretty much like the risk you take in the stock market, there is a unsystematic risk and then there is systematic risk.
Relationships are all about being expressive, the narrative that a partner understands what was never said is like leaving your cat in a random forest. Showing the effort periodically is good for a healthy relationship and rather than putting a stereotyped monotonous effort to keep your relationship interesting, you might want to diversify and surprise your partner, some efforts will work, some will fail, but you can control a bit of the "Unsystematic Risk", the Systematic Risk is always there and nobody can overrule that.
The only way to get rid of the systematic risk is to get out of the market, So being single is another alternative.
Though the topic is How to identify if your relation is toxic, stock market analogy was an effort to clear our stance that walking away is not the only solutions, there are myriad of options and you would know the status of your relationship better. If you still consider your relationship is in the unsystematic zone, you can put effort and fix your relationship. But if you think it is in the systematic zone and it ran out of your hand already, putting efforts will make things worst for the possible future reconciliation or even the individual's mental health and self-respect.
So here we will discuss some of the scenario that will help you evaluate if your relationship is in the unsystematic zone, or in a toxic state.
We are mentioning the communication gap as the first point because, we triggered in the introduction, the narrative when the partner is assumed to understand the unsaid, and after a few years in their relationship this is celebrated as understanding.
If you train your relationship with this narrative and stop expressing, your partner either starts feeling unimportant or lacking attention. And as s/he is supposed to understand the unsaid, you are giving them the full liberty to think whatever.
This is the root cause that destroys the relationship even when there is nothing wrong. The possible insecurity is not only going to break your bond but will directly impact the mental health and emotional wellbeing for both the partners.
Jealousy is the byproduct of a communication gap that leaves your partner preoccupied and their behavior will definitely bother you. Remember when you started your relationship, you had your gang of friends that never bothered them, but some of them specially of opposite sex, your partner can't stand. Would you blame them alone for this?
It is two individuals in a relationship and if someone starts to feel insecure it is not one person to be blamed for. When your partner becomes jealous, their mental state is not right, you have to take a lead and clear the doubt. But even after trying to fix the mess, nothing improves, Most likely your relationship is in the systematic zone, and none of the two will be happy. What is the point to drag it further? Take a break or finish it off for the good.
Lack Of Respect
Because of jealousy or insecurity, When the partners start using foul words and profanity to character assassinate each other, that is the time no matter what you feel for them, You have to be sane enough to move out of the relationship. Because what comes next is really bad for anyone, whether you are a male or a female.
Some individuals have also admitted their parents were blamed questioning their upbringing. Someone is definitely hurt, but no one deserves such drama.
There comes a situation when a partner's insecurity is at such an extreme, they keep doubting you for everything and to prove the conspiracy theory brewing in their mind, the easiest option is to invade into your private space. Your cellular phone, email address are at risk and I have also read some brainy bloggers suggesting fixing a GPS instrument to track the "doubtful" partner's location.
As an independent individual this is unacceptable and it could lead to drama in public places, emotional breakdowns and even physical altercation.
Physical altercation is something no one expects when getting into a relationship, actually people want to show their best side, but the worst comes when they are brought to their worst. If you expect someone just to have a positive side in all the circumstances, then you are definitely very demanding, specially when you don't want to sit down and discuss everything. But you have to either address their issues or address yours, because one domestic abuse confirms many more to come and it becomes a norm.
These are some of the extreme stages of toxicity in a relationship that even leads to domestic abuse, and the data suggests surprising facts related to this byproduct of toxic relationship.
According to https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS
On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.
1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner.This includes a range of behaviors (e.g. slapping, shoving, pushing) and in some cases might not be considered "domestic violence."